The case of the missing rubber duckie :)

     I am not one to complain and I am certainly not one to point fingers at other peoples parenting.  I think today that may have to change for just one split second, just long enough for me to rant about this one.  I know all parents think their child is the cutest kid in the world. (Trust me; I am one of those people except mine really are the cutest ;)  I am also one of those people who think that ALL children are cute.  I see a child and I am immediately wrapped around their finger, even not so “cute” children. J  SO PLEASE KEEP THAT IN MIND AS I CONTINUE!

    Yesterday, I was on my lunch hour at Von-Maur looking for a new jacket.  I have a limited amount of time and am really concentrated on the task at hand: Finding a new Jacket!  As I am speed shopping through the racks, I hear this: “squeak, squeak, squeak” Now I am looking around to find where are earth this ridiculous noise is coming from.  I still can’t find the source; however, I did notice that I was not the only women wondering what this horrendous sound was.  It sounded like a dog was viciously murdering a rubber duck, and the duck was squeaking for its life.  Fun, huh. You know you want to experience this heavenly sound now after I tempted you with that wonderful description.   For a split second there was nothing, I took a deep breath and continued my exploration. It started again.  This time the beat was faster and one squeak was a smidge louder than the other. “Squeak, SQUEAK, squeak, SQUEAK.”  What the heck was this noise?  I am by the clothing rack closest to the door and all of a sudden this mom comes from the children’s clothing area. (Happens to be right by women’s clothing)  The sound seems to attached to her somewhere because it is getting louder the closer she comes to me.  Just then, out pops a little girl from in between the clothing racks!  This noise is coming from her.

     I frantically looking her up and down and check her hands.  Nothing.  No duck. No dog chew toy. No Wheezy from Toy Story (I should’ve known about that one, since he no longer had a squeaker!)  Where is it coming from?  HER SHOES!! With every step this precious little girl took, a ridiculous noise projected from her feet!!! I thought something must be stuck to her feet or something, then I overheard a woman close by tell another lady about the shoes.  I thought “you have to be kidding me, someone would do this on purpose?”  If you are a mother, you know that your kids are never quiet; they are noisy enough without some silly shoes.  On a side note, the shoes themselves were adorable but if I bought these and heard this crap I would have immediately returned them.  I do what I always do and research it the moment I get back to work.  Sure enough, these were actually shoes and they had a brilliant name “Squeak Me Shoes”.  WHAT!?!?!?  Oh wait it gets even better, not only is there a whole website for this lovely foot work but it also comes with a catchy little slogan “Hear your child at all times”. Really? Have the makers of these shoes ever been around children?  Do they have their own children? I understand what the makers were thinking: “O you’ll never lose your child and they will always be in ear shot.”, but we all know that the majority of the times when you need to worry about your child is when they are completely silent!  Those shoes will not help you then.  Try keeping an eye on your child instead.  Furthermore,  I am going to go out on a limb here and say that you ALWAYS hear your children!!!

  After I come down from my pedestal above the shoe making company, I then start to think about it. Let’s say they do make this annoying shoe, WHO on earth would buy them.  Lets then say that maybe grandma bought them for their sweet first born grandchild…. What mother in her right mind would then put these darn things on their feet?  Could you imagine if you were that child?  I would be eternally scared from this, every time I watched Ernie on Sesame Street I would have an uncontrollable urge to gallop and not know why! Hehe

  Even if you were not worried about your child’s psyche and were deaf to high pitch sounds, wouldn’t  you think of others as you were swiping your credit card to purchase these teeny little noise makers? 

    So the question remains… Why on earth would you buy these?  If someone can give me a LOGICAL explanation, I will retract my opinion on these ridiculous creatures!  Hey, I’m open-minded!

And They Say CHIVALRY is Dead... :)

Today my eccentric son & I decided we would go shopping at Target. We needed a few typical items. Well this journey was just the same as any other day. My son Teague dressed in his red satin cape (yes this is typical in MY every day). With Superman by my side we set out in search of some cat food and as always .. way more than we planned to find. Now Clark Kent was equipped with a $5 Batman movie featuring Scooby Doo. :) Like all moms of mini super heroes, I made a deal: if he was well behaved on the store he could get the movie. Even super heroes need motivation, right?
Teague did a remarkable job througout the entire store, in fact an older lady commented on just how "well behaved" my son was and that it looked like I knew what I was doing. (Of course I do; I am a mom of a super hero and a princess) When those last few syllables came out of her mouth, my inner mommy cried "Oh No!". Like clock work my hero suddenly became my arch enemy. Now for some reason he thought it was cute to sit in the middle of uthe clothing racks with his monkey rain boots hanging out.(Yes I did say rain boot and a red satin cape... but in my defense he was fully dressed!)
We are now running saying "can't catch me". Finally I caught that little joker and explained that we cannot do that in the store and he willingly abided by this. We are now looking for a shirt for his sister because everyone knows it has to be fair, when all of a sudden Teague takes off. Now this wasn't your ordinary run off, this was more like the invisible man type thing! One minute he was there and the next he was gone. I chased after him leaving my cart, purse and the cat food behind. I went in the exact direction he went one second before. He was gone. I started to panic, couldn't breathe, and my watery eyes quickly started scanning the store. I turned to an employee who was near by and asked "have you seen a little boy in a red cape?". She looked at me like I was a nut case.
Feeling sick to my stomach, I hear the sweetest voice. "Momma where are you?" I am still scanning the room moving towards the voice. Again, "momma where are you?". There stood a brave two year old with the most innocent look on his face. I run towards him and he holds up his tiny blue oval box. "Por (for) you momma". Still furious and coming down from the panic craze I was just in, I open it. There in that box was a ring with black stones. My precious son saw this ring and took off to get it for me. I was torn with the emotions of being melted beyond belief or to stop allowing him to watch sport center. :)
So the question still remains: did the little cape wearing smooth talker get to keep the Batman/Scooby Doo movie?


Tune in next time:
Same Bat-Time. Same Bat-Channel.

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