Thursday, June 30, 2011

The Big One!

The car must be where the goofiness of my kids comes out.  This morning on the way to work I hear them bickering in the back seat.   Nothing unusual.  I hear “No I will not” …..”Yes you will”….”I said no!”…. “But I say please” etc.  The volume is getting louder and louder, I know it is my time to break this little quarrel up.  At this point I still have yet to know what this fight is about; I am assuming it is a toy of some sort.  If I was a betting woman I would put my money on the Blue DSi in the back.  Not the Pink “Regular DS” That pretty much does the same thing… But the blue one.  Teague thinks that he is the rightful holder of the blue one since he is a boy and that the pink is Tybee’s.  In all actuality they both are Miss Tybee’s.  Before you all start thinking poor guy, his sister has two and he doesn’t have any.. He has a toddler learning version of the DS but it is not good enough!
I finally break up the squabble in rear with my simple question “What are we arguing about back there as I stare them down in the rear view mirror.  Intimidation is not my thing, so I do the best I can with my stare down.  ;)  Tybee breaks the concentration with this comment “Teague says he wants to marry me.  I am not marrying him!”  I try so hard not to laugh or even crack a smile.  I look over at Teague.  He innocently says “Me ask her please.”  Now let me just give you the visual of what he looked like… (o my goodness it will melt your  heart)  Teague is looking over at Tybee on his right with his Big Blue eyes and his hands in the praying position, begging and pleading for her to marry him.  I don’t even know where he came up with this!  It starts again.
Teague: “I’m going to marry you Tybee.”
Tybee: “No way Teague”
Teague: “Please Tybee I lobe (love) you”
Tybee: “I love you too but I am not marrying you.”
Teague: (looks at me very confidently) “I’m marrying Tybee”
Tybee: “Well are you buying me a big diamond?”  - At this point, I am dying with laughter trying to keep it in!
Teague: Yep
Tybee: “It costs a lot of money”
Teague: “My moneys goes to Disney world.”
(They’ve been saving all their money to go to Disney world.  Teaching them about saving.)
Tybee: “To bad then Sucka” – What?!?!!?
I then chime in.  Bickering is one thing… name calling is a whole other.  “That’s not nice Tybee.  You should try to be more sensitive to his feelings.” I then direct my attention to Teague “Teague I’ll marry you.”
Teague: “Mom you’re Poopy.”
Rejected by a 3 year old… Does wonders for your self esteem…  I had some names of my own to call him at that point (obviously I’m kidding), but felt Tybee’s pain. I couldn’t help but laugh.
With all this, I have to wonder why it isn’t illegal to talk in the car to your children.  It’s much more distracting that a cell phone! ;)

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Momma's Multi-tasking Morning

As a mom you learn fast that the simplest tasks become just a slight bit more challenging with each child. Your tool against this? Multi-tasking.  If you were not a multi- tasker before you soon become an expert at this skill or you fall by the waste side. If a boss is looking for some one to do multiple jobs and just pay one salary, look for a mom. It is a normal day to be talking on the phone washing dishes and picking up a towel that I dropped with my toes.  That’s easy peasy.  

Today, I had a not so easy one.  I was driving the kids to daycare this morning on my daily route and Teague starts in with his candy episodes (see blog below). From the back I hear, “ I want candy, I want candy, I want candy.”, in this mono-tone voice (that tends to go up an octive when ‘ca’ letters of candy) Meanwhile, Tybee is telling me a detailed story about how if she wiggles her tooth with the correct fingers in the correct direction (which was to the left-by the way) that her tooth seems to wiggle more and seems looser than it is if she wiggles it to the right.  I am, again driving, chiming in on Tybee’s conversation when it is called for, listening to Teaguer’s candy hym that he has going on back there, and the radio is on just enough to drowned out my own thoughts.  Just then sliding down a single piece of silk is a tan spider that looks nasty.  Almost like those albino ones that look even creaper than your average spider.  He is running all over the window next to me on the driver’s side. I think to myself, “how the heck did he get in here.” I almost freeze about what to do next.

But instinctively I carry on like any mother would, “So your tooth only wiggles to the left but only with your middle finger and thumb?”, “ Honey, I don’t have any candy right now and its 7:30 am.  No candy sir.”, and I start searching for something to kill this 8 legged creature with.  My shoe, um no.  It would be nearly impossible to get these strappy heels off without swirving the Jeep.  I watch the road glancing around to find something before this nasty thing crawls on me! 

Then I get a Clue©

So Mr. Creapy Crawly was killed in the driver’s side window using a McFlurry spoon. Then of course I shreik a little because of the grossness, the kids both stop and say “what momma”, I say “O, nothing. Just so excited about loose teeth, candy for everyone when we get home tonight!”
          All in all, I’d say a pretty successful morning so far.  I drop the kids off at daycare. I get back into the caI fix my hair in the mirror, and sit up a little straighter.  Proud to be who I am at this very second in time. I am a multi-tasking, bug smashing, kid shuttling, safe driving, high-heel wearing, dish washing, negotioating conversationalist who often goes by the name Mom. 

          Maybe I should think about changing the name of this blog, Smashing in Heels sounds about right ;)